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When the abuse occurred, we, as parents, did not know how to handle the situation. We talked to him immediately, but only once. Because of his young age we thought he would forget about it, but research has shown that those who suffer a trauma such as sexual abuse at a young age often turn to drugs and alcohol to ease their anger and feelings of betrayal. The abuse contributed to our son’s using pot and drinking beer, beginning in the 5th grade. At age 16 he received treatment for addiction at the St. Cloud Hospital and is now in his 25th year of recovery. The crime also affected my life. When it occurred, I did not allow myself to think about the horror of what happened to our son and how he must have felt. I dealt with it by submerging my feelings and reactions. But 18 years later, poems began to surface, one by one, until there are now 50 poems that tell the story of his abuse, subsequent addiction and recovery, and its impact on myself and our family. Most of the poems are poems of memory, recalling specific events and feelings I finally allowed myself to confront, to weep over and write about. At first I thought I was writing the poems to give his experience a voice, but as more and more of the poems arrived, I realized I was writing them for myself, alloying my buried feelings and memories to surface. Writing the poems helped me to heal and has aided my recovery from the trauma that occurred to him, and as a result, to me. Writing put an order into the remembered chaos of abuse and those years when our son became addicted to drugs and alcohol. And the healing has continued beyond the family. The poems about abuse, addiction and recovery have been gathered into a book called Flight On New Wings and are presently used in the Recovery Plus program for addiction as the basis of Poetry Therapy sessions at the St. Cloud Hospital. Staff therapists and I have used individual poems to help the patients explore their addiction through Poetry Therapy for over 5 years. Copies of Flight On New Wings are available for each participant in the sessions, without cost, if they desire. I am privileged to be engaged in the therapeutic work of Poetry Therapy. It has given my life added meaning and allows me, with staff therapists, to share our family’s story, in the hope it will help others who have suffered similar experiences. They will learn they are not alone and a life of sobriety is possible. Flight On New Wings is dedicated to our son, and to all those who have survived, who endured, who now walk forward. |
