Lisa Dietz

Lisa Dietz, Lisa's Self-Portrait

In the late 80s, when I was pregnant with my son, I was kidnapped, taken to Europe and brainwashed and tortured by a man who was paranoid schizophrenic. Living in the country with no phones, electricity or running water, it took me three years to escape.

For many years, in addition to therapy, I used writing as a means of recovery as well as dabbling in art. When I suffered a traumatic brain injury in 2005, I was no longer able to maintain the focus required for writing. However, when I began experimenting with fabric art, I found a startling talent. Having lost my ability to remember (or dwell on) things for very long, I was finally able to break into a more hopeful creative expression.

In 2007, I completed “Self-Portrait,” and when I stood back, was a little surprised to learn that I felt that I had found my voice for expressing, at long last, a sense of transformation. I wanted to express the many aspects of myself, each a being that had suffered and worked hard to overcome the constant sense of worthlessness that had been stamped into every fiber of my being. The hidden snakes and lizards and shells on the left represented my feeling of being reborn from a “primordial ooze.”

In 2008, I expanded my understanding of the world of art by reading, talking to other artists and visiting museums. I was greatly influenced by the work of Mark Rothko. I wanted to communicate raw emotions without distracting the viewer with realistic shapes and figures that they might compare to what they knew. The center triangle represents the turmoil of struggling for recovery, then breaks through and branches out in an upward motion of hopefulness. The mini-cages at the top and multiple layers cut through on the bottom are part of the process. Still, I couldn’t quite feel free from my tumultuous past and so all the edges are restrained and lightly internalized with oil pastel.

Lisa Dietz, Wheelchair Yoga
Lisa Dietz, Adaptive Yoga	Lisa Dietz, Gold

When I tried an adaptive yoga class at Courage Center, it triggered something deeper inside. It was a way to let go of all thoughts and reach toward the light, regardless of obstacles. In 2009, I worked on expressing the darkness that threatened to intrude from above but fell short by finding healing in the purity of replacing negative self-talk with “inhale, exhale and breathe into the movement.” It wasn’t just about stretching. It was about finding a new way to live.